How I Help

​People often come to therapy on the back of a recent life event, such as a break-up, a loss or a life transition. But also because of experiences that keep occurring in social situations or within close relationships. Some of the difficulties I commonly work with include:

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• Rehearsing and overthinking interactions

• Finding it hard to say what you need or how you feel

• Avoiding conflict, or worrying about how things will land

• Struggling to say no or hold boundaries

• Discomfort with closeness, or anxiety when there’s distance

• Being highly self-reliant, or finding it hard to depend on others

• Reacting quickly in the moment, then reflecting later

• Feeling a strong need to stay in control

• Being self-critical or frequently comparing yourself to others

• Doubting yourself, even when things seem to be going well

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These patterns usually make sense in the context of earlier relationships. Over time we all develop unconscious expectations about closeness, distance, conflict and care, along with ways of protecting ourselves when relationships feel uncertain or unpredictable. These expectations often continue to shape how we feel and behave with others in adult life.

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In therapy we pay attention to these patterns together as they appear in your life now, and sometimes between us in the therapy relationship itself. 

 

I work actively and collaboratively rather than just listening quietly, offering reflections and gentle challenge while keeping a steady, manageable pace. Over time, reactions that once felt automatic begin to make more sense. When experiences can be spoken about and met with a different kind of response, both emotional and physical reactions often start to shift, gradually settling the nervous system and making new ways of relating possible.

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You might recognise some of your own experiences on one of the following pages: