Therapy for the First Time – What to Expect | Online Counselling

Therapy usually involves 50 minutes of your own, at a consistent time each week, where you’re invited to explore your thoughts, feelings and experiences with someone trained to listen actively, attune to your emotional state, and help you feel met, understood and safe to be. There is no agenda other than prioritising your wellbeing and, over time, making sense of your experiences together.

Boundaries and Safety in therapy

Before starting, a BACP-registered therapist will contract with you. This means mutually agreeing the boundaries of the work — such as session time and frequency, fees, cancellation policy, and how confidentiality works. These boundaries help manage expectations for both client and therapist, and can be especially important if you’ve experienced unsteady relationships, moving goalposts, or being let down in the past. Consistency can feel quietly reparative.

Do I need goals before starting therapy for the first time?

Your therapist will talk with you about what’s been bringing you to therapy and what you hope to get from it. You don’t need to arrive with fixed goals or a clear plan. It might be a general sense of feeling stuck, on edge, or anxious much of the time. You might notice patterns in relationships you want to understand, a sense of loneliness or being an outsider, or a feeling that you’re not quite living in line with yourself. Sometimes there isn’t anything obviously “wrong” — you may simply want a space that is yours to think and feel out loud, with someone other than friends or family.

Talking to a stranger

Talking to a stranger can feel very strange at first. With time, repetition, and a sense of safety, this often becomes easier. Many people are surprised by what emerges in sessions, and where a single thought or feeling can lead. Therapists are trained to notice patterns, gently challenge, offer alternative perspectives, and highlight what may feel significant — including what is said and what remains unspoken. When we’ve functioned in certain ways for a long time, it’s not always easy to see what may no longer be helping us.

Will therapy always feel difficult?

At times, therapy may involve touching into difficult feelings that have been pushed aside. This requires care and pacing. Your therapist will work with you to find a window of tolerance, so that you’re not overwhelmed or flooded. The aim is to approach things gradually, bit by bit, allowing experiences to be processed and integrated safely.

Not all sessions are heavy. There may be moments of laughter, joy, or excitement. Sometimes you might feel on the cusp of something — and one meaningful session can tip you into action or clarity. Your therapist is there to meet you where you are, help you move forward gently, and share the experience alongside you.

Written by Layla Eissa MBACP

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy